THE INFAMOUS MR. RHODES

Transcript:
Archibald: So, let me see if I have this quite straight... You want me - Sir Archibald Fotherington-Smythe, renowned Archaeologist, and peer of the realm...
Archibald: To go grub around in some tawdry, run-of-the-mill Roman ruins, on a burial mound in the South of France, that none of the locals will go anywhere near?
Rhodes: That’s about the size of it, yes.
Archibald: And if I find that... What did you call it? Sentinel Artifact, then I’m to bring it to you?
Archibald: Not publish? Not alert the happy scribes of the Royal Archaeological Review, not mark the occasion with even an inch of print in the Times?
Rhodes: Seems like you have the measure of it. Yes.
Archibald: Well. No. It sounds hateful. I shan’t do it.
Rhodes: Look old man, not to put too finer point on it, what else are you going to do with your time?
Rhodes: The Egyptian Government aren’t going to grant you a permit for your own dig. Not so soon after that ‘Mummy business’.
Archibald: Now, look here - I've told you, I genuinely thought that mummy was one we’d excavated fair and square-
Rhodes: Archy, it belonged to the Egyptian Museum in Cairo-
Archibald: It was right next to our cargo on the dock-
Rhodes: And it was intended as a gift from the people of Egypt to the King of Spain.
Archibald: But they all bally well look the same-
Rhodes: When you were seen waltzing it around in broad daylight, singing a rugby song about the daughter of a local tradesman...
Archibald: Well... I had had rather a lot to drink, I will admit that.
Rhodes: We’ve known each other a long time, Archy. We go back, don’t we?
Archibald: Oh I should say so. Wasn’t it old Flinders’ dig at Tanis?
Rhodes: 1885. I remember, because I missed Scarlett’s birth for it - my wife was furious...
Rhodes: But Archibald, old bean - my point is this - in all that time, have I ever steered you wrong?
Archibald: No. I suppose you haven’t.
Rhodes: Well. What say this, you take the expedition, and I’ll be sure to smooth things over with the Egyptian authorities?
Rhodes: We’ll have you back in the sandpit in no time.
Archibald: And you’ll cover the cost of the whole dig?
Rhodes: Absolutely. First class steamer cabins, and champagne all the way.
Archibald: All this Sentinel jazz seems jolly important. Why aren’t you handling it yourself?
Rhodes: Would you believe me if I told you I was keeping a low profile, because I’m having a spot of bother with a cult?
Archibald: Probably not.
Archibald: Tell you what. If you throw in a couple of cases of that saucy '70 Claret, we have ourselves a deal.
Rhodes: You know how to squeeze a fellow dry.
Rhodes: Deal.
Archibald: Excellent! I shall commence my preparations at once!
Archibald: Potts! Damn your eyes, man! Where the devil are you? Load the motor car - We’re off!
Rhodes: Archibald! Sir Archibald! It’s after 2 in the bloody morning!
Rhodes: Best of British, old man.
Rhodes: You will most assuredly be needing it.