A LUXURY I CANNOT AFFORD

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Submitted my official after-action report to the Colonel. Tried to keep it professional, without injecting too much personal opinion. That is a luxury I cannot afford (along with this journal!). If the Colonel ever doubts my loyalty, he will reassign me – or tell Gorev to cut my throat.

But the longer I serve with Omega, the harder it is to hide my disgust. What I left out of my report is what troubles me most. Zhang was still alive when we got here. Against all odds, he had cheated death. Then the Colonel said Valentina had an experiment for us to carry out.

We were ordered to collect samples of brain fluid from all infected corpses…and inject them in Zhang’s cranium. I tried to reason with the Colonel. This was a rescue mission. Zhang was a longstanding, dependable ally of the USSR. Yes, the man murdered several thousand Hmong, Thai and Burmese over the years, but for better or worse, he was our man.

The Colonel said the Kremlin would install a replacement to lead the Shan People’s Army – and never to question an order again. So my men collected the samples and I personally delivered the injection. Zhang died screaming…then kept screaming. Valentina’s so-called experiment yielded no useful data. The Colonel ordered me to falsify my report and return to base.

I saw and did terrible things in Cuba, Nicaragua, Angola, and Afghanistan. I fought alongside mercenaries who collected ears as trophies. In war, morality must sometimes take a back seat. But the Colonel never had morals to begin with.

Then again, who am I to judge, when I am the one feeding intel to the enemy? This I do to keep my nation from literally unleashing the forces of Hell. I still believe in a Soviet future. When that future arrives, we must be worthy of it.

S.R. 20-1-‘84